What do you do when the life you had is no longer there?
Someone has died. Or a relationship has ended, a job has gone, a diagnosis has landed, a pet has taken its last breath. Whatever form it took, something that held your life together has gone, and the people around you seem to expect you to be getting on with things.
"I should be coping better by now." "I don't even know what I'm feeling." "Why does it still hurt this much?"
There is no right way to grieve, and no timetable you're falling behind. What you're feeling is a natural response to loss, and it deserves to be taken seriously.
What counts as a loss worth grieving?
Far more than people allow themselves. Grief follows the death of someone you love, but it also follows:
• The end of a marriage, partnership or friendship
• Losing a job, a career or a professional identity
• The death of a pet, who may have been your closest companion
• A health diagnosis, or the loss of the body or abilities you had
• Infertility, miscarriage or the family you imagined
• Leaving a home, a country or a community
• Estrangement from a parent, child or sibling
• A future you'd planned that is no longer going to happen
If you feel the loss, it's real, whether or not anyone else would call it one.
Why do two people grieve the same loss so differently?
Because grief depends on who you are, what the person, animal, role or relationship meant to you, and what else is going on in your life. Some people cry easily. Others go numb, get busy or get angry. Some feel relief and then feel guilty about the relief. None of these is the wrong response.
What might grief be doing to you right now?
• Thoughts that keep circling and won't let you rest
• A feeling of being stuck, or of living at a distance from your own life
• Numbness, or waves of emotion that come out of nowhere
• Guilt, regret and "if only"
• Poor sleep, exhaustion and anxiety
• Pulling away from people, or feeling that nobody understands
• Losing interest in things you used to enjoy
• A song, a smell or a photograph that flattens you without warning
• Moments of hopelessness that feel too heavy to name
Does healing mean getting over it?
No. Healing doesn't mean forgetting, and you don't have to leave the loss behind. The aim is to carry it differently, so the pain softens, the memories can sit alongside ordinary life, and the days become manageable again.
What if I'm grieving a pet, a divorce or a job, not a death?
These losses are often the hardest to talk about, because they get the least recognition. There are separate pages that speak to them more closely:
• Divorce and the end of a relationship
• Career changes and loss of work
• Major life transitions
• Coping with the death of someone close
How can therapy help with grief?
It gives you a gentle, compassionate place to say what you can't say elsewhere, without being rushed, fixed or told what you "should" feel. You don't need to know what you're feeling before you come, or to explain it neatly.
Where does BWRT® fit in?
BrainWorking Recursive Therapy (BWRT®) can reduce the intensity of painful memories and feelings while keeping the meaning of what you've lost intact. It doesn't ask you to relive the worst moments again and again, and you don't have to understand your feelings first. Many people find it eases the raw, looping edge of grief so they can remember with warmth rather than being overwhelmed. I can combine it with other approaches, and sessions are shaped around you.
Can I have sessions from home?
Yes. Sessions run online via WhatsApp, FaceTime, Messenger or Zoom, so where you live is no barrier, and you can be somewhere that feels private and safe.
How do I reach out?
Email me or call 0409 254 500 to arrange a free, no-obligation consultation. We can talk about what you've lost, what you're finding hardest, and whether working together feels right. You don't have to carry this alone.
